Standardized Randomization of Sensitive Departmental Material
The Department of Disorder is pleased to provide all cleared personnel and authorized contractors with the official Randomized Security Classification Guide and corresponding precision-engraved classification dice.
Personnel are reminded that classification determinations made under this program retain full legal weight pending review.
A more equitable classification system.
For too long, classification determinations have depended on the subjective judgment of trained professionals. The Randomized Security Classification Program (RSCP) replaces that judgment with a documented, repeatable, six-sided procedure. Every memorandum, briefing slide, and after-action summary receives a classification level selected by certified Departmental dice — eliminating bias, fatigue, and the appearance of either.
Defensible Methodology
Outcomes are produced by a randomization device with publicly documented face values. The methodology is reproducible, auditable, and inarguable.
Equitable Treatment
Every document — regardless of subject, sensitivity, or seniority of author — is processed under identical conditions. No memorandum is favored over another.
Departmental Compliance
Each die is calibrated to specifications established under the Departmental Standards for Information Treatment (DSIT-04A).
Approved Classification Dice
Two regulation form factors. Both certified for use in classification proceedings under DSIT-04A.
Official Notice
The Department of Disorder Randomized Security Classification Program is a satirical work of fiction. No actual classified material, governmental authority, or legal effect attaches to any item described or distributed through this site. Personnel of any real agency are advised to continue applying their own judgment.